Parent's always say "I will never do that again!" Yea right. They do.

I remember sitting in the "silent" church pew. My eleven month old toddler fidgeting in my lap for the twentieth time while I struggled to listen to the preacher. Sweat rolling down my sides. Nearly hyperventilating because I was afraid to breathe! I once thought a pacifier was a great idea for a baby. Not now.

Wyatt kept popping the rubber end in and out of his mouth. When it popped for the two hundredth time in church, it echoed through the building. Suddenly, with a powerful "sling", he thrust it across the church pews where it plastered against the back of an elderly man's head. I thought at that moment my son would be a baseball player for sure. And then to my horror, my baby actually cried that he could no longer get his pacifier, even after slinging it forcefully in the air wide open through church. How embarrassing!

A part of me wanted to laugh. The other part wanted to crawl in a hole somewhere. And that was just the beginning of becoming a mommy! I said to myself then: "I will never go back again!" But I kept going. And every Sunday it was another adventure or shocking moment with my toddler.

When my second child came along, the ventures became more intense and the vexations multiplied. Then there were birthday parties. Dinners. Family outings. Grocery store problems. Potty breaks in the worst places imaginable when I just wanted to get home.

And forget going to a China restaurant. It was the chop sticks up the nose and hanging out their ears. Or my kids glaring at other people, questioning why they looked this way and: "What is wrong with that guy?" Hyperventilating was an understatement at that point in the game. I said: "We are never eating out again!" And I meant it.

And I had given up on actually meeting "new" people. I thought to myself: "No man in his right mind would understand me or my kids!" Look at them. They are full of themselves. Energetic. Demanding all of my attention, even when I try to go to the bathroom. Asking questions they should never comprehend the answers for.

I said to myself out of my own fear: "I am never bringing them around new people again!" Yea right. But now....things have drastically changed in life. I now have no fear when it comes to what people think of my children. Don't like it? Get over it. They are children. Not robots.

My father has a good rule of morals for raising kids. He says: "Children are not born into this world knowing everything. They must be taught. And that is what a good parent is for." I didn't learn that until after my divorce, sadly. I had to learn to lighten up. Go with the flow. Understand that my children will do things, say things unimaginable at the worst times, and just flat out appall me to no end sometimes.

But it is o.k. now. I no longer hyperventilate. I no longer fret about sweating with my child on my lap. If they fidget or do something out of the ordinary, especially in a quiet setting, I am liable to laugh out loud. Even if it is in church.